Because for once I finally feel like I can be uncertain, about anything really, and not be scrutinized for it. Like what the hell I don’t know what I want to major in yet. Or what my career interests are. Or even specific things like no, I DON’T get why DNA replication has a lagging strand that replicates in Okazaki fragments. (Well now I do.) For now, I’m just here to absorb all this information.
But the more I think about it, how does anyone really know what they want to do for the rest of their life? Why does neuroscience and molecular biology stand out as a more probable major than chemistry or biology for you? How do you know you want to work in the health field rather than the tech field? Is it simply because you don’t like math? Is it because you got an A in biology and a B in calculus? And what constitutes passion honestly? Why is it that I feel so impartial towards everything? I’ve never felt truly riveted by anything. Maybe I’m thinking too much, trying too hard to sense if I like something or not. But I would hate to plan my future on a whim or simply by a gut feeling.
And so after being at Pomona for a little more than a month now, I’ve realized that deciding anything should really be about evaluating yourself. Which seems kind of obvious at first but now I finally understand what Ms. McCown was saying about how you choosethe college. And the same goes for choosing a major, choosing a career… etc. Because ultimately you’re deciding what corresponds with your values and whether or not you’ll be comfortable. I’ve become so accustomed to choosing the “right” answers - writing applications that appeal to the reader in hopes of being selected, checking certain boxes on personality quizzes that will get me matched to a career in medicine - that I didn’t bother to question if that was what I really wanted.
So first things first, I’m trying to understand myself better. They say that no one knows you better than yourself but I disagree. I wish I could analyze myself externally, as if I was a character of the many APLIT novels that we had to read. Rip apart my motivations and consciousness to see what’s really going on in my mind.
So moral of the story… figure out yourself before anything else.
Guacamole saves the day~ No more of that extra dollar shit from Chipotle, I get unlimited guac here.
mixed rice… omg the grains were so long
vegan apple pie!
AND I’M DONEEEEE!! So in conclusion… this was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Veganism certainly doesn’t equate with a healthier diet because I definitely ate a lot more starchy foods and the vegan desserts were usually caked with cinnamon. I felt hungrier throughout the day from the lack of protein and tended to eat larger portions. BUT I can definitely see why vegans choose their lifestyle because of ethical reasons rather than health reasons. So glad I’m done… I will be bingeing on yogurt and nonvegan dessert tomorrow :)
Ooookay I’m getting tired of the same breakfast foods day after day. It’s funny that Pomona thinks they can reinvent their meals by changing the shape of their potatoes… cubed potatoes to triangular potatoes to hash browns to wedges… yeah they’re still potatoes guys. And wow I had oatmeal by choice for the first time today!
burrito w/ lettuce, onion, black beans, corn, and guacamole
vegan coconut vanilla cupcake
smuggled pita bread for the hummus I bought from the farmer’s market
The burrito was pretty good. :] They were serving hot fudge brownies today… god I was so tempted to cave.
I realized I was getting desperate when I reached for the pudding… I HATE pudding. And after a couple bites I remembered why.
penne w/ marinara
steamed cauliflower and broccoli
rye toast w/ peanut butter
There was cheese ravioli today and I couldn’t eat it… enough said.
Okay okay I have to confess that I CAVED today and ate a caramel apple at the LA County Fair because I had never eaten one before and my friends convinced me too. So as punishment I’m going to extend my veganism by an extra day!
The dining hall near my dorm is closed on Friday for some stupid reason so I always end up eating the fruit that I’ve scavenged during the week… waking up earlier to walk to the other dining hall is clearly not an option.
tortilla chips w/ guacamole and salsa
roasted rosemary potatoes
mashed sweet potatoes
spinach salad w/ mushrooms and tofu
We went to Scripps for lunch today and it was pretty easy to find vegan options there. Mashed sweet potatoes are oh so good. And the horchata too mmmmm.
pizza w/ spinach, mushrooms, and pineapple
spinach salad w/ cucumbers, corn, and tofu
Dinner at Mudd for pizza night! I had to opt out of cheese but it was still really good without it. Spinach salad as per usual… I’m basically consuming the same vegetables every meal.